Where did this month go?

I looked to see if I posted anything in October for this blog - and I hadn't!  Where did the month go?

Yesterday I went to John's work to get my flu shot - nice little benefit - and waited with Sean as he got his shot.  Another woman came down to the health center to get a flu shot and didn't have an appointment so they were suggesting when she could come back.  She had her little blackberry and checked to see that she had a meeting at this time, would need it later - then left.  Probably 2 minute conversation tops.  However the way it hit me - HARD - was difficult.  It was the first time in probably 15 years or so that I realized other people are perceived more important, have a life different than the  one I chose.  Now I know intellectually that I have an awesome life, I'm so fortunate that I'm able to stay home, go for a picnic, hit the park, etc.  I KNOW that.  But yet, yesterday I was definitely feeling sad and left out and a 2nd class citizen - all my own feelings.

Last night I went to my Intuitive eating class - and there were actually three of us!!  The group is growing which is wonderful.  I also realized how far I've come - that each choice while not the defining moment - have brought me closer to being an intuitive eater.  I've lost almost 40 pounds since the start of my journey, I'm exercising on a consistent basis (I've logged 65 miles since mid-September via my Nike GPS on the iphone.) and am at a different place than I was 6 months ago, and definitely at a different place than I was 2 years ago.  And that's happened more and more by the little small choices I've made along the way - with Christ walking along side of me - renewing my mind and creating me new each day.

I didn't go to the movement part of class last night - which was hard.  I don't sleep well when I get home that late and have been exercising but also missed meeting the new person and extending my personal time.  Everything is a choice of balance - and as Andy Stanley says you have to choose where and what part of your life you cheat.  Not easy.  I refuse to cheat God anymore.