The first solo stick I did was okay - shaky - but okay. Since then they haven't gone so smoothly. Now I know that tomorrow will only be a week since I've been sticking myself, but it's still frustrating to be watching my carbs, walking or exercising everyday and have readings that are high! Yesterday my fasting level was 135 - hellllllooooo! I also started my period so I won't know for a while what my pattern is during my period - it's all about gathering information. Or at least that's what I'm told. Maybe it's about trusting that God is still in control even when everything feels so out of control - or at least out of my control.
Yesterday I saw the live telecast of the Beth Moore book "So Long Insecurity" - it was definitely what I needed to hear from God. My identity is secure in Christ - and not tied to having diabetes or an eating disorder or anything else.
Time to go plan lunch and look at where I want to spend my carbs - for me part of how I translate Intuitive Eating into a life long learning path that intersects with diabetes and an abundant life in Christ.
Hmm, I feel like my life has a cross of Thin Within, Geneen Roth, Intuitive Eating, Food and Feelings and numerous American Diabetes books!
One day at a time with your help, Lord.
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